For those of you who write–whether it be poems, books, memories, or anything else that makes you pause and think–do you ever go back to what you’ve written before and wonder, Who wrote that? I have done that this week, with both written items and videos that I’ve created. Recently I’ve found that recordings accurately catches what I’m feeling in the moment and, like with my writing, I can go back and edit as needed. However, I have made mistakes with my attitude and that is harder to take back.
I began rewatching a favorite TV series, “Lost”, a couple weeks ago and even early on in the season I like a scene where the character Jack explains to a stranger how he deals with fear. He says that he allows himself five seconds to allow that fear in, to acknowledge it. He counts down from five and then moves forward so that the fear does not paralyze him. I like having a similar concept with my anger. I work with kids, so that is both a very good and a very bad thing. It tests every area of my endurance and patience because I am around multiple groups of children for more than eight hours a day. This week has been crazy because of attitudes and breakdowns. But then there are the sunshine moments when I get a note from students, someone shares their art, or parents comment on a video that students helped me create. This is why I teach. It’s not necessarily to make the biggest difference, but it’s to motivate them on their own, to create their own futures and to teach them that they are worth something. And sometimes this cannot be covered by one sentences.
And yet…
I have the privilege to teach music this semester. I would be the first person to state that I would prefer to stick with art. However, the songs and the mini moments that I am getting to experience with kids in elementary is wonderful. I had a sixth grader in my Spanish class sing back to me the rap that we are learning about the countries in South America. Some moments like this surprise me because in my mind it was something simple, something that the students might find boring. But they latch on to it and are singing the chorus of a favorite song for the rest of the year!
Every morning I get up about two hours before I leave for work. I exercise or read for the first 45 minutes and then I write. During the week I am creating the world for my graphic novel, partially inspired by these kids. They devour the graphic novels and can tell me about them in as much detail as if they had watched the story on TV. Just like with the world culture in music, I hope that my writing inspires students in more ways than my speaking with them will. That I can encourage them to their best potential because of a story that they read in a graphic novel chapter. Only time will tell and most likely I will not be around to see it. The life of a teacher is about pouring into kids as much as you can in a year and then they move on. I do have some of the same students as last year, but many of them moved districts, towns, or countries. I do not really know how much of an impact that I made unless I’m expressly told and that doesn’t happen often. But I will keep doing it. My work might look different as the years continue, but I always want to put my heart into it because THAT is what is going to make the difference!
Always learning,
Hannah Marie.
