Wow it’s so easy to let my doubts crowd in on me, especially when everything seems to hit me at once! It has been a very good couple of weeks, but very crazy! I have had opportunities and ah-ha moments. Here are a few thoughts and how I work through them. See if a couple resonate with you.
What am I doing wrong?
Running a business is a full-time job, especially if I am just getting started and dealing with the financial aspect myself (next year I will hire someone for taxes!). It has been amazing to learn the business side of creativity and I’m learning better ways to promote myself when I bring my art to people in person. My books are on my website and even on Amazon, but for the past couple months I’ve had very minimal sales. Still there is the nagging voice in the back of my head that I must be doing something wrong because this is taking longer than I would like…
How do I get people to notice?
This weekend I am signing books at a local bookstore in Boerne, Texas. As I was preparing for this, I was considering the size of table, the color of tablecloth, the amount of books — all to compare with the other writers: What are they bringing? Their book cover looks so much more professional. Why am I bringing all my books; I’ll never sell them. I had to remind myself that I love chatting with people, especially about bookish things, and that this moment needs to be no different than discussing art with people at my market days! The only thing I have to offer is my own personal spin on my book and my love for writing.
Visiting art markets involve scheduling available booth rentals, deciding what I will display, and arranging all of my art so that people can stop by my booth and buy. A lot of the times, as an artist that people don’t recognize, I see them glance at my stuff, sometimes whisper to someone and point to a character art, “Ooh, we should do that,” or they might even tell me, “You’re art is beautiful,” and then they walk off. Don’t get me wrong; I know that not everyone can buy from me, but when the majority of my art markets go like this, it can be very discouraging. I want to yell after them that comments don’t pay the bills, but instead I smile, take a breath, and hope that they will come by next time. After all, usually it take several times of someone noticing an object for them to finally buy.
Is my art good enough?
The first time I thought this was at a plein air contest, which is when artists from the area gather in a town to spend a week sketching businesses and buildings. At the end of the week, these few paintings are framed and held in a central area for a competition and with opportunities to be snatched up by local residents. After attending a few of these, I realized that my style is unusual, since I work with palette knives over brushes and often throw random bold colors into my artwork. This technique is much different than the smooth strokes, warm tones, and immense details of the majority of the other artists. Don’t get me wrong; I have sold some of my paintings, but I’ve never seen my art in contention for any contest. I love my art style, but it makes me wonder every now and then if I need to adjust to fit in (my Enneagram seven will always come back around to NO! as the answer to this question).
What if I run out of money?
Though this spring has been much more productive in cash flow, I have also taken on a substitute teaching position near my district. This will allow me the flexibility of continuing my art and giving time for writing. At the same time, though, I can show up for work and get paid without having to worry about, did this sale pay my booth fee? as I increase my monthly sales. I am excited to get to chat with other teachers, but also am embracing the flexibility that comes with choosing my own days to work throughout the week. Since it has fallen on me to take the initiative, I set aside time to call or email businesses that I think would be interested in displaying my art, offering a booth, or selling my books. It is a lot of leg work, but I have been able to try some new opportunities that I wasn’t able to in my first six months. Though it has been difficult to learn the business aspect of selling and creating, it has been worth it. I find it confusing and frustrating at times, but now I know I can do it; I see that absolutely, yes! I can do hard things.
How can I use my art to make a difference?
This is the biggest caveat, as I always want each of my pieces to touch the heart of whoever sees it. After I published my first novel, I was hoping that there might be a newbie teacher pick up my book and find moments of relatability and hope. It is fantastic to see someone grab Solivagant and share with me some of their own travel experiences. Every time I talk with someone, or a person finds my website and orders a gift for a friend, I am helping brighten their day. Whether or not it actually makes a difference in the whole creative population has yet to be seen, but I know that by sharing my story through my art and writing, I can build a connection through paint and pen that I would never have dreamed possible!
One step at a time,
Hannah Marie.
