I was reading this morning and came across Psalm chapter 10 in my Bible. There are times when I use writing for complaining, but most recently, I’ve written to create more depth to my stories. In this new year, I’ve made several goals for myself. I prefer the term “goal” over “resolution” because it reminds me that it might take more than one year to accomplish. When it comes to things like writing, exercise, and reading, these are things I will continue doing past one year. My focus just changes slightly. As a New Year goal, I am finishing up one manuscript, writing a first draft, and in a couple months once the first draft is around 100,000 words, I’ll return to my YA (young adult) graphic novel.
Lots going on in my writing life! But can that be considered worship? This is a concept I’ve been dwelling on since Christmas break, when I had the opportunity to spend hours a day working on writing. It can certainly get away from me and make me frustrated, but I come back to it because I enjoy it and I like to see the ideas that emerge from my head.
Psalm 10 is a complicated chapter, one in which King David is essentially complaining about the hardships that have happened in his life. I do that when I journal. I am able to process my frustration and search for a solution when I can step back for a moment. But the intentional writing to build story is a little different. In a way I’m choosing to express my emotions when I use journal writing, but that is non-fiction; an attempt at figuring something out that I don’t understand yet. The creative process of putting words to a story is a deliberate mindset shift. I am attempting to place myself into someone else’s shoes and tell a story from their perspective. That takes my experiences, knowledge of relationships, and research to build a story.
Let me explain. I’ve gone back to praying before most of my scribblings, and sometimes during the process for specific scenes. The reason is personal. I want my writing to be truthful, funny, and deep. But I also want my writing to reflect the love for people that God has given me. The reason I know it comes from God is because I definitely wouldn’t be able to summon love and compassion for people most days! My default when it comes to people—I find this is true in teaching as well—is that I want people to “get it” quicker. I find myself wishing that they would see things from my point of view. And yet, everyone has different perspectives! Everyone has different situations in life that mold them into who they are.
I can’t rush love. I can’t summon compassion. I can’t conjure up patience.
That has to be the Lord. I’m not that nice. I talked with a coworker this week after being sarcastic and admitted that when I was a teen, my mouth got me into trouble a lot. It wasn’t until college and my twenties that I began to attempt taming it. Why? Because I don’t want to be known as the woman with the quick wit. I would prefer to be known as the woman with wisdom and creativity. Where does that come from? Definitely not myself. Only the Lord could change that mindset!
As I am writing scenes or am stuck on a particular passage the first draft is merely to write whatever comes into my head. After that I always go back and determine, what aligns with my beliefs? At the same time, though, I must speak to what the character is going through. If they are experiencing abandonment by their family, they are probably not going to think, “Oh, that’s fine. Everything’s going to be okay in the end.” But by the end of the book, I want to hand this person hope, even if they choose not to take it. That is the equilibrium I’d like to find in my writing, balancing real emotions and situations with the truth. Once again, since I am just getting started on this vision, it might look a bit different as I construct my books. But this is my goal and I hope to craft even better stories with this same objective in mind.
Worship can be anything I put on a pedestal that grips my focus. I try to make my worship about me, especially when I conjure some great idea that keeps me motivated for days. But deep in my heart, I go back to the realization that I don’t have it anywhere in me, even at my best, to develop ideas like this. There have been moments that I have come up with a solution which perfectly fits the puzzle of my writing; something that I’ve been struggling with for days. Suddenly I have a revelation where it all becomes clear and I tackle the chapter once more. It perfectly fits the scenario, even if it seems a little strange to me. It is exactly what I need in that moment. And that’s not me. I am not that intelligent. It has to be the Lord.
Over the last five or six years, writing has been a place where I allow my imagination, my feelings, and my excitements to splurt out onto the page. From the initial crumb (some of you writers might be able to relate to this) of Oh, I could write a better book than this! came a world that I place characters, form attachments, and build dialogue. It did not just stay that way. As the story emerged, characters were changed and pages were deleted. Stories were flopped on their head and I found myself driving to work imagining a scene from a book, trying to figure out which book I had read. Then the realization, “That’s my manuscript!” that sent me home to finish the rest of the story. All of this doesn’t happen by accident. It is a lot of hard work and focus. My mind is so flighty and likes to envelop all stories at once in a single sentence, so I know that my story writing is not coming directly from me. I have the passion, but I don’t have the focus. I have the creativity (hand up if you’re an art teacher and loving it!), but not the organization. And yet, I’ve figured out how to get it all done. That is not just me. The Lord has given me a vision and is step-by-step guiding me to carry it out. I don’t have the necessary tools within me to finish projects. I’ve tried and the determination just lasts a few weeks. But after this many years, I am completing my first project and chomping at the bit with more, as I daily turn to the Lord for inspiration. I cannot wait to see what comes next!
What inspires you in your craft? How do you take steps necessary to stay motivated? How can you add a new depth to your current WIP? Also, did you notice that Baby Doodle made an appearance?
Until next time! -Hannah Marie.
