I’ve begun in the last month to journal again, following a similar format to The Artist’s Way (Cameron). In these daily three-pagers, I usually jot down what has been bothering me, what my plans are for the day, and what I hope to accomplish. Then there are moments that I am explaining about my creative process and it helps me to figure out what I am doing or not doing. With this case it was that I needed to change something. I figured out that I have completely pushed aside my previous goal of simplifying. I keep telling myself on a weekly basis that my two goals for the year are #simplify and #fun. I even have these written on my bathroom mirror! But the truth is, it’s hard to simplify with a full-time job and when I write and sketch on the side. I want to do everything and I just don’t have time.
One good example of this is a commissioned piece I’m working on (by the time this is published, it will probably be hanging in her house) and I received a belated invitation to be a part of a crafts fair in town. I happened to have just finished my morning pages on how I’m cleaning out part of my closet to work as a artist’s den to hold some of my canvases. I realized with a couple personal projects and this huge commission that I don’t have time to be involved in something else. It would just put more on my plate and I’m getting back to making space in my life for creativity, down time, and rest.
So I said no to the art fair.
It would have probably been a good experience and I would have enjoyed visiting with some local artists, but right now my ambition is this commission and my other personal projects. I want to have a chance to breathe and to explore. There will be a better time for an art fair in the near future. Turning down something does not come natural for me. I want to be involved in things, especially if it will help someone else or if it is something I haven’t done before. But I also must be intentional on how I spend my time so that when I do something like that, I will be fully present and enjoy myself no matter the outcome.
An email was sent by an artist named Josie Lewis. I follow some of her artwork and occasionally listen to her podcast. My sister, who is an entrepreneur herself, told me about this woman and I like her style and personality. On this particular podcast, Josie was explaining certain things that caused burnout last year and as she continued talking, I found myself realizing that I do the exact same thing! I say yes to everything until there is no more time to breathe or enjoy the moment. As I am deep cleaning in my house and putting MANY piles of things from my apartment into giveaway, I realize that I don’t need as much as I have. I can do just fine with half the clothes and half the tools.
My writing, fortunately, takes fewer tools than my drawing, but it still creates the need for me to learn about websites, promotion, research, and takes more time than supplies. As demonstrated earlier, time is important, too, and I need to be sure that I am spending my time wisely when it comes to reaching my goals. In order to get there, I must continue to focus on each step to reach these goals. Fighting for every single day. There is nothing saying I can’t take a day off to relax. I would recommend it. But then there is a different to putting something off because it’s hard. I will never get closer to completing something if I don’t start at all. As I tell my students. You only get better at something through making mistakes and trying something new. I actually think it was a red-haired science teacher who repeatedly stated this to her students!
More being, less doing.
From NCIS: LA, S7:E2
One of the ways that I am making this a reality is through creating an action plan for my goals. For one of the questions in my journal writing, the question was posed: What actions could you take to make this goal a reality? What about three years from now? What about a year? Three months? One month? One week? Today? I created a T-chart with the goal of having two books finished and published (or on it’s way to being published) within five years. I am not sure what the reality will look like, but my goal today is to continue with my writing group. My goal for a week from today is to start writing in my book everyday, or at least making this a habit by then. I wrote a few future notes for myself for the next few days, but my goal is to stay consistent (what did I say? Broken record) and to create something creative more than just during the weekend days. Writing is hard work, but it is also a daily habit and I think that it will be something that I need to continue.
Always learning,
Hannah Marie.
