I noticed this month that I’ve been busier than I have since the end of last summer. Truly. I lost the juggling act that I had so carefully crafted. I forgot that I wanted to stick with minimal. Say no to things. Lots of reading. Daily writing. Drawing for my updated website. Only one of the these really happened consistently. As I organized my new site, taking the idea in my brain to create a fantastical art gallery and put it into each page of my website, it just confirmed how much I enjoy and appreciate art. I had to learn a few new techniques to get it to look like I imagined–best viewed from a laptop or computer– but it showed me that the extra attention to detail is worth it. That’s where I struggle.
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I said yes to several things at work this month that were not mandatory, but expected, and I drained some of my time. So last night as I was leaving the school at 7:00PM, I decided that yes, I need to re-evaluate. My book week couldn’t come too soon because it allows me a chance to step back and decide how I want to align my life. In the morning I’ve started a twenty-minute yoga program. I’m currently finishing Yoga with Adriene’s January Flow challenge and want to continue in February. Then after talking with a friend and recalling previous Bible studies I’ve done, I decided to start Priscilla Shirer’s Fervent as it takes me through how to have a daily prayer life. What always draws me towards Christianity is that I am human. I am broken. And I will never be good enough on my own. But with Christ I have the power to overcome these trials, these voices in my head that say I’m not good enough, and these challenges that tell me just to forget about kindness. Strike out in anger. Shut everyone out. Don’t even try. Most of the time that’s what I want to do. But that is not me. I am made for a purpose and I can share God’s love, beauty, creativity, and inspiration through my artwork. THAT is what I want to accomplish this year, more than maybe I even know!
Another morning routine is the 45 minutes before leaving for work (I set a weekday alarm) is to write more on my novel. During January I have been ignoring this time in favor of scrolling through Instagram or getting one more hour of sleep. But I love writing! It makes me understand that my scattered brain has purpose. And as I’m crafting these stories into something I’ll be able to sell, I love how much of myself I’ve included in each character. What I’ve learned. Questions I still have. Something I wish someone had told me. Awkward scenes that may or may not have actually happened in real life. Writing allows me to dream. To be creative and to imagine real-world characters in scenarios that, up until the last few years, had only existed in my mind. There’s still a long way to go, especially when it comes to organizing my thoughts, plans, and budget, but I definitely want to stick with it. The struggle is real. But it is worth it.
On a completely unrelated note, the zipper on my laptop bag is broken because I’ve *overused* it in the past two years. And probably, overfilled it. This morning as I was trying to evaluate whether I needed to get it repaired, I was reminded of a quote from the movie “You’ve Got Mail” when Tom Hank’s character is trying to convince Meg Ryan’s character of the mysterious gentleman’s identity, whom she will meet later that day.
H: “The zipper man.”
R: “What’s that?”
H: “The zipper man. He’s the guy who repairs zippers on Amsterdam Avenue.”
R: “Will you cut it out!”
H: “You’d never have to buy new luggage!”
